Pineapple Upside Down Cake is a double-voiced narrative poem, concerned with the fluctuations of power in a turbulent relationship.
In the following story, the character’s personalities, motivations, lifestyles, and emotions have been sculpted only through their dialogical choices. Mikhail M. Bakhtin’s philosophy of language—namely, that life is experienced and evidenced through dialogue—was a key component in the crafting process.
This piece contains sexual references, abusive and mature language, dysfunctional relationships, and violent imagery. Please proceed with caution.
***
Where is it you fucking
bitch?
what the hell are
u talking about
The cake, the cake,
the cake you stupid bitch!
dont know anything
about that
ive been teaching louie tricks
all morning
The window. I left the kitchen window
open, the cake was on the table, I was
gone for two minutes to take a piss and
now the cake has disappeared.
magic !! wowww
maybe ur finally getting dementia
You’re unbelievable. So if I come
over right now, you won’t be all
sticky with pineapple syrup?
u wouldnt dare
mum n dad r here
also ur not supposed to use pineapple syrup its too sweet
ur meant to use pineapple juice
ask me if im sticky again
I need that cake back. I need
the cake.
why do u assume i took ur cake
maybe ur kids ran off with it
Everyone is out. Charlotte
took both boys to the beach and
they’ll be back soon.
maybe the cake turned invisible
You know what. Forget
about it.
maybe u made the cake in a dream
Maybe you’re right.
I’ve just decided that tonight
we’re having a barbeque. Right here
in our backyard. I might invite you
and your parents.
It’ll be fun! Perfect weather
for it.
ur an asshole
i just wont go. the thunderstorm
has made me ill
dad wont go either. he can barely move u prick
Don’t be like that. We’re just next
door, it’s not too far of a trek!
The boys would love it. And it’ll be
a good teaching moment for them to
see a tracheotomy tube in the flesh.
i hope ur house goes on fire
That’s sweet of you.
also i dont want to see ur girlfriend
please leave me alone now
i have homework
You know, each day I
watch you walk down
the street to catch the
bus for school.
Your dress has gotten shorter
and shorter over the years, as
you’ve gotten taller.
Are you taller than your daddy now?
Well, you know what I mean. If
he could stand up.
I can hear your fucking phone
vibrating from here.
What homework are you
doing? Need any help?
Are you still a
vegetarian?
I just went for a walk to clear
my head. I’m sorry for lashing out
about the cake thing.
I saw a cute dog while I was out.
You would have liked it.
what kind of dog ?
Golden Retriever. A puppy!
mum wants to get another dog
after i graduate i think
If you get good grades?
yeah. she said
louie has been lonely recently
dad can’t play with him anymore
Why not get a cat?
allergies
im sensitive
u know that
Oh, sensitive. Yes, I know.
It’s very cute. How you go all pink
and glowing. Always such a vision.
ur so charming
Do you remember last year,
on Halloween? The party?
Remember what we did?
i remember it often
Giving you a tour of the upstairs rooms.
Everyone else outside. Drunk.
The next morning, when Charlotte asked me
about the bruise on my neck, I told her
it was from work.
a teaching related injury ?
She’s not very bright.
did u like my costume ?
Of course!
what did u like about it ?
I loved your cape, your basket,
your heels…
I couldn’t pick what to wear. Felt
silly as the only one not dressed up.
i think u dressed up as a human
Ha ha.
I got some more magazines
delivered today.
Did you want to have a look?
i dunno
And I think Charlotte has some
dresses that don’t fit her anymore. You
can have them if you come over. She
won’t mind.
the blue one
You like the blue one? Yeah, that one
in particular, I don’t think she wants
that one anymore. Tonight, at
the barbecue, you can take
everything home.
ok. thanks
what should we bring
Don’t be silly.
Just bring yourselves.
And, you know, I hate
to bring it up again, but with
the cake…
The only reason I got so aggressive
was because there’s a diamond ring that
I baked into it. Safely of course. But I really
need that ring back. And it’s in the cake.
ur joking right
I’m proposing to Charlotte tonight,
and that ring was very expensive. I won’t be
upset if you took the cake. You can tell
me that you took the cake.
i dont know what to say
u keep going on about this cake
i dont know why u made this cake
it was my recipe anyway
the one i told you last year
before u took me to the upstairs balcony
and savaged me
why would u make a cake like that to propose
u must be some kinda sick
who puts a ring into a cake anyway
its dangerous
You’re right! You’re right.
It was thoughtless. All I need
is the ring back. I just need to get that
ring back and you won’t be in trouble at all.
Tonight, if there’s a ring on the
countertop after you three come over, I’ll
just assume that I misplaced it,
and I was wrong to think you took it.
louie ate it
Your dog? Your dog ate the cake?
he ate the whole thing
your diamond ring i guess
is in his tummy now
maybe you should marry him instead
Bring Louie tonight. I’ll get the ring
out.
his poo will be sticky with pineapple
a sticky poo ring for ur poor girlfriend
You’re so funny!
Let’s hope you graduate with Honours.