i go around in circles all the time. my teacher said to stop writing in hypotheticals & immediately i knew she was right & that she had found the little spiral centre of me that i had been hiding not-too-solemnly. it is hard for me to detach myself from the hypothetical, most of my days i live in there. before i knew any of this (of writing or understanding or knowing there was a world at all around me) i knew that committing myself to one idea was an utter travesty. of course there are ideas now that i hold close to me. but usually i hang barely-suspended & wishing i was okay with being a pendulum.
Read more28/09/21 class is soon
class is soon and i’ve exhausted all other forms of procrastination. i’ve done all the readings, given appropriate feedback, put on an inappropriate outfit, forgot to have breakfast (i actually had two sleeves of oreos and a handful of multivitamins, as if the two could counteract one another), & i danced to the same playlist that’s been on repeat for the past few weeks. i got a call from my boss asking me to work nine hours per day on the last three days of this year. i said yes eagerly; i don’t know why.
Read more